I have come up with a grading system directly related to those I encounter on the roads here in Israel as a bicycle rider and driver. But let me digress. Let me go back to this summer as we now leave it for fall.
Grief: I don't want to define my summer as a summer of grief for with grief comes hope which is itself buried deep in the seemingly deepest recesses of our being. I did not lose a son and can't truly imagine the sense of loss and despair that was felt. Yet, over the years I have been around a number of friends and parents whose children I have taught, who have had to deal with similar loss. Either the strength comes to you from those places within, or those around you help to extract it. It's there, and I am sure of that, it pulls your through.
Seeing: I am lucky to live during an age where fools like me, who can't even manage to draw representable stick figures, can pick up a camera and produce a passable image. I detach myself from the images that I have taken for I truly don't give a damn about any aspect of the image except the emotion it evokes. I take my photos for me first, at least the ones that "work" and I have my own evaluative system that does me fine. I am so, so, so fortunate to have a few photos that look kind of nice on my walls, and feel good that I have been able to fill some spaces here and there on other people's walls with my vision of this world as well.
Teaching: As a dyslexic teaching those with dyslexia, I have beaten the odds and avenged a system as best I can. School for those with dyslexia and learning disabilities can be cruel. You find yourself constantly trying not to be outed even when you are 50 as I am. I kiss the ground that Mr. Springer walks on for he taught me to type. I worship the Microsoft word G-ds who created tools that check our spelling and grammar. To Kurzweil, Inspiration, Dragon and other producers of fine software for the dyslexic (and others as well), though you are all getting really rich on our neurological uniqueness, your products allow us to express ourselves in a manner not afforded to others not so many years ago.
Friends: To my very limited circle of friends, thanks for always putting up with my whimsical moods. I don't blame dyslexia for the vacillations, but my wiring I am sure contributes to the ups and downs. I don't think one can have too many friends and brother Steve and Michelle have a grand circle that supported them in a time of need. Keep the doors open.
Family: I envy those who have these tight, open, honest and faithful families. I have only seen a few families who click like this but when I do, I understand how consanguineous relations have the ability to interact and communicate in a manner unique to all other groupings.
Sports: Oh, thank-you strange brain wiring that gets me up at 5 and out on the bike at 6 on days like today. I am so tired in the mornings and have no idea how I still manage to do this and am in shock that I still do. To those endless laps I swim so poorly in the pool, I apologize to those molecules of H20 who I have battered with my flailing strokes.
Dumb, Dumber, Dumbest: Sure there are drivers here who follow the law, but the number who don't, the numbers who flaunt common sense and put us all at risk - fuck off. You are miserable, heartless bastards (men and woman) intent on moving from spot A to spot B faster than those around in order to pad your large egos. You are terroristic in your actions and cowards at heart.
Okay, it's been some time since I've written and though I have peppered the pages here with images, it is the written word too that allows me to convey what I truly feel and care about.
J
G'mar Hatima Tova
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