The following is not about winning. It's not about getting onto the podium either. It's simply about finishing and doing one's best. If you want to read about winning, stop now and go to ESPN and read about the Heat or Eurosport where a lot of talented athletes are meeting with top results.
As I noted yesterday, I was not even sure that I would race in the Israeli National Championships if I felt the level of pain I had the previous day. However, I got up at 4:00 a.m., after a surprisingly good sleep, and felt almost no sciatica and even felt strong. I made my pre-race meal and was out of the house at 5:45 headed for Negba slurping down on a Brendon Brazier concoction that I like.
I have to admit, I was really nervous this morning. The best riders were there, and our Master's group was at least 27 people. Tel Aviv Cycling Club had a large group of riders, and some are very strong, so I knew there would be some interesting team tactics. I was on my own as nobody else from my club was racing in my Master's category. However, we had other riders in different categories and though not well-represented, we were represented.
I gave several of my bottles to my coach Alon, went and did a good warm-up and came to the line dripping. I hate not being warmed up (even on a hot day), for I have been dropped right from the start when I have not had the time to do this properly. Thus, when we started, and were almost at once doing over 45KPH, I was fine hanging in though some of the holes in the road almost ended my day quickly. I hit one, but luckily, no puncture.
This was a six-lap race and would go for 88+ Kilometers. Lap one was surprisingly fast and two riders right from the start broke away. It took a while to catch them, but we finally got motivated enough and hauled them back. Lap two was a bit more tame and though it was starting to get hot, the temps were a bit better than I expected. I ate ever thirty-minutes and kept drinking.
My goal was to stay near the front of the peloton and for most of the race, I was able to do this. Each lap had two short climbs and this is where the attacks always came. I hung in there the first three laps without any difficulty, but it started getting more intense.
On Lap four, the Tel Aviv group started attacking. One strong rider got away and I decided to chase him down. I dragged the entire group behind me and was successful in doing this. I then thought about how foolish this was, for there were stronger riders than me in this group, and there was no way I could finish well if this was how I was going to operate. Thus, I decided I would not risk blowing and let others do the chasing. I got a water feed on this lap, and probably should have been drinking a bit more, as lap five would show me.
The boys got serious on lap five, and the attacks in several places were challenging. I was holding on well until the climb near the finish line and then felt both my legs cramping. Same old, same old. I lost the group and saw about 10-12 riders begin distancing themselves from the rest of us. Thus, I put my head down and stated time trialing back to them as best I could. A Tel Aviv rider rode past me and I wheel sucked until the rest of the group joined us and pushed forwards. Luckily, the lead group was as spent as I was and they went back to a slower pace and we all became one group again. I was determined to improve my position in the peloton and worked my way up so that there were only about 10 riders in front of me.
I kept thinking about why I was doing this and what my true goals were. I wanted to qualify for the Maccabia Games taking place in a few weeks here, and have worked hard to get to this level. However, as I have discovered, I am not at the level that is necessary to qualify. I accept this, though it does bother me of course. I wanted to not only do this for myself, and certainly I'd be lying if I said that this was not a main purpose of mine, but I also wanted to make a statement about cancer (thus the pink bandana I wear in races). So, I put into my head over the final few kilometers the images of those I love the most who have fought or are currently fighting this horrible disease. I decided that I would ignore the cramping, readjust my position on the bike to lessen the pain, and just go for it (sorry for the cliche).
During the final short climb, I got the best position that I possibly could and held on as the group accelerated. I pounded on the pedals and willed myself to stay with this lead group. We entered the last several hundred meters tightly packed, but the better sprinters started to separate themselves from the rest of us. I gave as much as I could, but found myself in seventh place at the end.
Here's the strange part-I was emotionally, more than physically, spent. I went over to my coach who was attending one of our woman racers who was cramping. He told me to do a cool down so I headed down a road on my own. For about two-minutes I forced back a few ridiculous sobs not of self-pity, but regret that I could not have done more for those I love to have a "podium" and honor them.
Yet, I made it to the end. I am on this day the seventh best bike racer in my age group in the National Championships. Last year I didn't even own a road bike! I had those I love most on my mind going into the final sprint and felt their power willing me to do my best. I can't ask for more and I certainly have no right wanting more. I am blessed, I am fortunate, and I am an older athlete who did not quit. My wife sleeps on the couch next to me as I write this and my dog sits with her. It is quiet and comforting to be where I am at this moment.
I take away from this race the realization that some very good riders did wonderfully today and surely deserve my utmost respect. This I give to them and wish them more success in the future as well. May we all be healthy and continue to face challenges that we seek and those that catch us when we least expect them as well.
No comments:
Post a Comment