Oh I must write again and rail, if I feel like railing, with all my true ideas and thoughts flowing forth without worrying that I might offensive or worse yet-foolish. I spent a bit too much time on FB during this sabbatical and though I attempted to be honest, to post what I felt and thought, I was not strong enough for some of the feedback that I received.
This unseen blog allows me to vent.
I notice that my favorite writing, my most meaningful ideas, are embedded in these posts of many years.
So as my sabbatical closes, as this last time in my life of having a year of escape and adventure as it was ends, I feel sadness and thankfulness embodied in one.
First, I will always treasure this time with Eva. I think I documented this trip well and the photo books that I will make (damn get on it man) will be something that we will treasure for our remaining years here on this earth. Eva loves this wonderful state of Vermont and now that we have a home here too, we can at least come back when time permits in our busy lives. She got to wander, to explore, to meet new people and learn new skills. I know she misses Israel, but I also know that she loves this place we also now call our home.
As for wonderful Forrest, she has been such a trooper. We dragged her here to this new land and though it was cold a bit for her in the winter (well more than a bit when she went walking), she seems to truly love being with us. Such joy and what an amazing hiker for such a small animal. I just always find myself worrying about her.
My biggest disappointments, as I expected, relate to my own family. What a letdown with my brothers. We all communicate with one another so poorly and never grew out of this. We basically just don't like each other. I realize there are many dysfunctional families, and we are surely just part of this parade.
As for my mother, I really did try. I really did put some great things into place when I first got back to help her live a better life. However, she has dismantled much of the safeguards and is almost back to her dangerous living situation as when I started. I tried. I failed.
I don't really look forwards to getting back to my job at AIS. It is not that I don't want to teach, I just would rather at this point in my life take photos. I don't really believe in the amount of time and effort we invest in standards, common core bullshit, report writing, and testing. I saw great schools here in Vermont that are so much more compassionate than ours with real leaders who demonstrate true love and compassion for their students, and clear respect for teachers. I hate going back to a school where this is not occurring to the degree where I feel it should be.
Oh the roads here. Though I will never feel safe riding a bike with cars and trucks around me, I will always the beauty of New England roads in the country. We have so many of them here and I am learning them day by day. I will now have the opportunity to explore these over the years, I hope at least, when we return. Israel is so congested and when I think about it, I lose so much sleep becoming anxious about the population density that exists there.
I don't, by the way, believe that true peace will ever come to the Middle East. I think that eventually we will all kill each other for neither side will EVER compromise. It is not in the cards for the Middle East and I am sorry to sound ever so pessimistic. I have resigned myself to whatever fate may befall me, but I know my enemies in our neighboring countries hate me and that we hate our enemies. It is a bad recipe and one that never changes.
Learning is life long. I am so happy to have found great courses to take online, more photographic technique to learn and hope that I will finish my Algebra course by the end of the year. I am happy that I am finishing my projects as I really did neglect my photographic work. It will be good to have my other routine in that respect.
I just, however, don't really want to go back to Israel. Living in such beauty here, with so few people and without the threat of being bombed has been nice. At least being able to get into the car and quickly drive to see how mom is, or help when she has been hospitalized, has made me feel like I was doing my job. Now I return and am powerless to really help her as she needs. My older brother waited me out, did not communicate, and will not be able to really help her as he finds it so difficult to do good for others. So sad.
This unseen blog allows me to vent.
I notice that my favorite writing, my most meaningful ideas, are embedded in these posts of many years.
So as my sabbatical closes, as this last time in my life of having a year of escape and adventure as it was ends, I feel sadness and thankfulness embodied in one.
First, I will always treasure this time with Eva. I think I documented this trip well and the photo books that I will make (damn get on it man) will be something that we will treasure for our remaining years here on this earth. Eva loves this wonderful state of Vermont and now that we have a home here too, we can at least come back when time permits in our busy lives. She got to wander, to explore, to meet new people and learn new skills. I know she misses Israel, but I also know that she loves this place we also now call our home.
As for wonderful Forrest, she has been such a trooper. We dragged her here to this new land and though it was cold a bit for her in the winter (well more than a bit when she went walking), she seems to truly love being with us. Such joy and what an amazing hiker for such a small animal. I just always find myself worrying about her.
My biggest disappointments, as I expected, relate to my own family. What a letdown with my brothers. We all communicate with one another so poorly and never grew out of this. We basically just don't like each other. I realize there are many dysfunctional families, and we are surely just part of this parade.
As for my mother, I really did try. I really did put some great things into place when I first got back to help her live a better life. However, she has dismantled much of the safeguards and is almost back to her dangerous living situation as when I started. I tried. I failed.
I don't really look forwards to getting back to my job at AIS. It is not that I don't want to teach, I just would rather at this point in my life take photos. I don't really believe in the amount of time and effort we invest in standards, common core bullshit, report writing, and testing. I saw great schools here in Vermont that are so much more compassionate than ours with real leaders who demonstrate true love and compassion for their students, and clear respect for teachers. I hate going back to a school where this is not occurring to the degree where I feel it should be.
Oh the roads here. Though I will never feel safe riding a bike with cars and trucks around me, I will always the beauty of New England roads in the country. We have so many of them here and I am learning them day by day. I will now have the opportunity to explore these over the years, I hope at least, when we return. Israel is so congested and when I think about it, I lose so much sleep becoming anxious about the population density that exists there.
I don't, by the way, believe that true peace will ever come to the Middle East. I think that eventually we will all kill each other for neither side will EVER compromise. It is not in the cards for the Middle East and I am sorry to sound ever so pessimistic. I have resigned myself to whatever fate may befall me, but I know my enemies in our neighboring countries hate me and that we hate our enemies. It is a bad recipe and one that never changes.
Learning is life long. I am so happy to have found great courses to take online, more photographic technique to learn and hope that I will finish my Algebra course by the end of the year. I am happy that I am finishing my projects as I really did neglect my photographic work. It will be good to have my other routine in that respect.
I just, however, don't really want to go back to Israel. Living in such beauty here, with so few people and without the threat of being bombed has been nice. At least being able to get into the car and quickly drive to see how mom is, or help when she has been hospitalized, has made me feel like I was doing my job. Now I return and am powerless to really help her as she needs. My older brother waited me out, did not communicate, and will not be able to really help her as he finds it so difficult to do good for others. So sad.
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